A CASE FOR GASE

Jet fans are pretty hard to please.  This Saturday January 12 marks the Jets’ 50^th Anniversary of winning Super Bowl III; their one and only Super Bowl appearance.  There’s supposed to be a celebration of some sort, somewhere, to commemorate this; but since there aren’t a whole lot of Jet fans that were alive or old enough to remember that game very well, it might not be much of a party. There’s no need to belabor how the team has done since then, Gang Green’s futility has been chronicled ad nauseum.  A half century of ignominy is hard to forget.  And a half century of unexplainable blunders is even harder to forgive (fill in the blank as you see fit, but do allow yourself sufficient time).  And so when the Jets announced that Adam Gase was to be their seventeenth head coach in franchise history, the immediate reaction was to pooh-pooh the decision.  Some recent stinging Tweets include: “The Jets are the Mets with football helmets”, “Exact reason this franchise has been a joke for 50 years”, and “I mean, Gase did develop 35-year-old Peyton Manning”.

It's Been 50 Years Since the Jets Won Super Bowl III

So what do you want Jet fans?  You had your three years of Bill Parcells, albeit a pre-owned version with high mileage, but still, he got you to the AFC Championship game in 1999.  You want him back at age 77?  How about Pete Carroll?  You had him for a year in 1994, before sacking him in favor of Rich Kotite (again, fill in the blank as you see fit, but do allow yourself sufficient time).  Sometimes you just don’t know how great your partner is until they get away.  Are you looking to break up his marriage with the Seattle Seahawks?  You even had Bill Bellichick for a day, but he’s probably been a bit too prosperous since then to return your phone calls now.  There’s even been cries for Rex Ryan to return.  Enough already!!!!

So what do want?  Since firing Todd Bowles eleven days ago the Jets have been exhaustive in their search for a new coach.  Eight candidates were interviewed in all.  Besides Gase, The Jets have spoken to:

Kansas City Chiefs Offensive Coordinator, Eric Bieniemy.   Bieniemy has only one year of experience as an OC of which his mentor, Andy Reid, still calls the plays.  Yes, recruiting offspring from the Reid family tree is as in vogue as finding the next incarnate of Sean McVay, but Bieniemy isn’t ready for the job just yet.

Former Indianapolis Colts and Detroit Lions Head Coach, Jim Caldwell.  Two stints of mediocrity is enough.  You seldom, if ever, get a third chance in the NFL with his body of work.  Had the Jets hired Caldwell, it would forever have been perceived as failing to woo a more desirable candidate.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Offensive Coordinator, Todd Monken.  As bad as the Bucs were in 2018, most of their woes were on the defensive side of the ball.  For the most part they were still able to score points with the perennially streaky Ryan Fitzpatrick and the perennially unpredictable Jameis Winston at quarterback.  Still, hiring respectable coaches from bad teams isn’t very sexy or exciting.  And at age 52, he just isn’t Sean McVay-ish enough to bring any wow factor either.

Former Texas Tech Head Coach, Kliff Kingsbury.  Seems everything about Kingsbury’s availability had this Hurry, While Supplies Last feel to it. The Jets talked to him, and then Cardinals signed him in the same time a frog snares a fly with its tongue.  Seems that being Facebook friends, or whatever Kingsbury’s purported connection to Sean McVay was, was enough due diligence for Arizona to offer him the job.  He’d last ten seconds in New York.  Good riddance…

Baylor Coach, Matt Rhule.  The mystery candidate that only the Jets seemed to have on their radar.  Seems that Rhule’s New York City roots may have had something to do with the Jets’ interest in him, but even the Jets seem to know that’s a pretty fluffy reason to hire someone. He’d probably be a fave with the New York media and a great drive-time interview on WFAN.   That is, until he started losing.  While what he’s done so far at Baylor has been considered respectable, his 8-17 record with the Bears is a tough sell.  It’s a long leap from Waco to the Big Apple, even if you grew up there; not to mention his only year of NFL experience came with the Giants as a low-level assistant in 2012.  At 43, his name will likely pop up again for future NFL coaching jobs.  For now, it’s probably wise the Jets took a pass on Rhule.

Dallas Cowboys Defensive Assistant, Kris Richard.  Who?

Former Green Bay Packers Head Coach, Mike McCarthy.  This was the heavyweight candidate that, not surprisingly, drew the most attention in this search. The guy “the Jets have got to get”.  McCarthy’s strained relationship with Packer’s QB, Aaron Rogers, helped to exonerate his blemished reputation after getting unceremoniously fired after 13 seasons.  After all, it was the villainous Rogers that got him fired!  Give McCarthy a pass, it’s not his fault for having Lady Macbeth as his quarterback.  Everyone bit on the spin for a short while, but then questions started to arise.  As in…if McCarthy really was still that great of a coach, why doesn’t he have any leverage?   Wouldn’t he be getting offers at least somewhat comparable to what Jon Gruden ridiculously received in Oakland?  Why weren’t the Jets in a three-way bidding war with, say, Tampa Bay and Cleveland over McCarthy’s services?  Something was amiss.  “Anonymous sources” and “those with knowledge of the situation” began leaking rather unflattering things about McCarthy; questioning his game management, his preparation, his decisions and, what’s akin to receiving last rites as a coach – losing the locker room.  This Super Bowl wining coach was suddenly damaged goods.  A dying brand. McCarthy was still a big name nevertheless, a safe hire, one who statistically had a much stronger case than the coach they ultimately hired.  And yet, there’ve been numerous “known commodity” coaches who never matched the success with their second team as they did with their first team. Guys like Mike Holmgren, Mike Ditka, George Seifert, Jeff Fisher, Tom Flores and Jimmy Johnson all fit in that category, among others.  The Jets had to have seen that with McCarthy, not to mention the bad buzz coming out about him, and thus decided to “go in a different direction.”  What’s the problem with that Jet fans? 

And so that leaves things with Adam Gase.  The Jets new coach.  Just as many established coaches have petered out after enjoying past glory, they’ve been a number of other head coaches who, perhaps hired a bit prematurely in their first jobs, went on to have tremendous success elsewhere.  Mike Shanahan, Bill Belichick and Tony Dungy all fit that bill quite well.  Gase is only 40, with already three years of head coaching experience: not too long to get burned out, but long enough to hone his craft.  Gase looks like he’s in perfect position to get the Jets flying, especially with Sam Darnold as his quarterback.  His biggest blemish is that he sparred with his boss, Dolphins owner, Steve Ross.  Like who’s never done that in a job?  It’s not like the Dolphins are among the NFL’s stalwart organizations anyway.  You have to go back to the Reagan Administration to when they were relevant.  Has anyone noticed that they’ve yet to fill their coaching vacancy?  What does that tell you?

There’s a case for Gase.  Park your cynicism Jet fans and show the kind of patience that New York is famous for.  He just might end up being that coach you’ll hate to love.

Adam Gase

KLIFF KINGSBURY

There’s something very Hollywood about the Kliff Kingsbury hire in Arizona.  A name that 48 hours ago was hardly mentioned amongst the potential NFL coaching candidates, and then – poof --- he’s the new head coach of the Arizona Cardinals just like that.  You can almost picture some bubbly junior level front office staffer, one who’ll be a general manager eight years from now, with a big bright smile that says “Boy have I got something for you” as he walks into his boss’s office. He slips Kliff Kingsbury’s brand new headshot -- so new you can still smell the remnants of photographic chemicals coming off the tacky matte finish -- across Team President Michael Bidwell’s desk and silently, but eagerly, await his response.  Mr. Bidwell takes a moment, picks up the head shot and holds it upward against the dimmable lights affixed in the ceiling.  He swivels his chair an additional forty-five degrees for extra effect, pauses for a beat, and then swivels back in the direction of the young man and says, “That’s it! That’s the guy! Does anyone know if he can coach?” 

“I believe so Mr. Bidwell.  I mean…I’m definitely hearing that he’s coached.”

“Who else has he met with?” Mr. Bidwell askes with a more noticeable sense of urgency.

“Well, I know the Jets are talking to him.”

“The Jets!?!?!...NEW YORK?!?!?!  Get him here to Phoenix…NOW! He needs to know how sunny and warm it is here in the wintertime. He’ll freeze to death back east.”

“Yes Mr. Bidwell, I thought that’s what you’d say.  In fact, he’ll be arriving here at 10:00 this morning.”

Mr. Bidwell looks at his watch, it’s a quarter past nine.  His new coaching candidate is scheduled to arrive in 45 minutes.

“Well I guess we better get ready,” Mr. Bidwell says.

“Absolutely, we’ll have fresh fruit and croissants sent to the conference room before he shows up.”

“Excellent,” Mr. Bidwell says.  “By the way, what’s his name?”

“Kliff Kingsbury.  Kliff with a ‘K’.”

“Kliff with a ‘K’?  I love him already...make sure we can reach his agent.”

That's Kliff Kingsbury Coming to a Stadium Near You

And thus, what we have here is maybe the first NFL coach ever cast in his position instead of hired.  The headline from Variety reading: KLIFF KINGSBURY GETS KAST TO KOACH KARDINALS. For the record Kingsbury has coached of course; where he went 35-40 in six years at Texas Tech but was fired for making only three minor bowl game appearances during his time with the Red Raiders, winning one; the 2013 Holiday Bowl versus Arizona State.  Kingsbury was then hired to be the offensive coordinator at USC but has since been plucked away by the Cardinals before even starting the job.  Kingsbury has no NFL coaching experience whatsoever, but, like most hot coaching prospects, Kingsbury sits in the catbird seat in that he’s an offensive minded coach that brings that oh-so intangible whispering quality to his quarterbacks -- that secret sauce that every NFL GM is crawling over broken glass to pour on top of his team.  With regard to Kingsbury’s experience with quarterbacks, he’s worked with some good ones, including Patrick Mahomes, Baker Mayfield, Case Keenum and Johnny Manziel before he partied himself into a punch line.  It goes without saying that the development of Cardinal’s QB, Josh Rosen, will be among the first orders of business once Kingsbury gets to work. 

But perhaps where this “hire” makes a few football purists a bit bothered is the not so subtle push to get this 39-year-old coach with strikingly chiseled looks out there; very quickly, just as the window for NFL coaching jobs was starting to close. Hurry, only 24 hours remain for extending offers to K.K.  A huge beneficiary of market conditions, as well as a fad that in hindsight will seem soooooo 2019, this Sean McVay understudy is going to have to win quickly in order to shake off his flavor of the month status.   Whether he lasts remains to be seen, especially since his predecessor, Steve Wilks, only lasted one season with Arizona thanks to going 3-13 last season.  Nevertheless, for the next 15 minutes at least, Kliff Kingsbury can enjoy being the NFL’s Tom Grunick from Broadcast News.  

No Doubt one of NFL's "Hottest" Coaching Prospects in 2019

McCARTHYISM MAY NOT BE THE BEST MOVE FOR THE JETS

The Green Bay Packers are the first of the eight NFL teams to fill their head coaching vacancy.  They hired Matt LaFleur, the 39-year-old former offensive coordinator for the Tennessee Titans.  LaFleur appears to be quite emblematic of what everyone in the NFL is supposedly looking for; which is a young, offensive minded coach that has a connection with quarterbacks.  In other words, the next version of what they hope will be the Los Angeles Rams’ wunderkid, Sean McVay.  Green Bay of course has had a five-week head start over the competition in their coaching search, ending thirteen seasons of Mike McCarthy’s service when the team, rather uncharacteristically, fired him on December 2 -- one month before the regular season ended after a humiliating Lambeau loss to the 3-13 Arizona Cardinals. 

The announcement of LaFleur’s hiring will likely ratchet up the stakes with the other seven NFL teams still looking to fill their head coaching positions.  Nobody wants to settle by missing out on the plum candidates, and nobody wants to pretend that giving Jim Caldwell a third chance will be a charm.  Of all the teams looking for a new head coach, few organizations seem to be under the same level of pressure and scrutiny as the New York Jets.

On December 31, “Black Monday,” the Jets parted ways with head coach Todd Bowles after four seasons and a cumulative record of 24-40.  This came as no surprise, as it was a forgone conclusion for many weeks prior to becoming official.  Bowles’s departure was widely linked to his lack of creativity and noticeable lack of energy in his team’s play.  His stolid demeanor only exacerbated the perception of the Jets’ lifelessness by showing little or no emotion regardless of what the game situation was.  His clock management was abysmal, and his long list of questionable game time decisions provided ample fodder for local sports talk radio that often lasted into the middle of the week.  But now the Jets are in a dilemma. They have what they believe is their true “franchise quarterback” in that of Sam Darnold; even going to the extent that maybe, just maybe, they’ve finally found their greatest QB since Joe Namath (Yes, yes, we’ve heard this before haven’t we, but he does show more promise than Browning Nagle or Glenn Foley don’t you think?).  And because of that, they don’t want Darnold’s talent squandered with the wrong head coaching hire.  The fact that Bowles was a defensively oriented coach with a potentially “generational” quarterback in need of proper guidance only accelerated the urgency to show him the door.  But now, the thought of taking chances with first time head coaches like they’ve done in the past with Eric Mangini, Herm Edwards and Al Groh is looking riskier than ever for the embattled Jets general manager, Mike Maccagnan.  What will he do?  The Jets Nation is turning their lonely eyes on this grand decision.

Todd Bowles in a Rare Action Shot Calling Time Out

Maccagnan has been under a significant amount of duress in recent weeks as well. Many of his critics said his head should have rolled with Bowles’s. But the drafting of Darnold in 2018, which involved some deft wrangling by Maccagnan with the Indianapolis Colt to get in better position to nab him, has done much to allow him to stay.  Nevertheless, the noticeable dearth of talent surrounding Darnold, as well as on the defensive side of the ball, has directed plenty of criticism towards Maccagnan.  He can correct this quickly in the off season if he has the gumption to do so.  So far, Maccagnan hasn’t come across as that sweeping front office executive that’s indelibly changed the face of his team.  But with an ungodly sum of $106 million in free cap space to spend, Maccagnan can quickly cement his name in the pantheon of great general managers if he has the backbone to do so.  But what does Mike Maccagnan say to himself when he’s alone looking into the mirror?  Does having this much cash at his disposal terrify him, or is this an opportunity of a lifetime to make his mark?  He seems tentative when talks to the media, more like a professional survivor that you find in any major corporation who deflects giving real answers when asked.  It’s time to see if he’s going to be bold or just play not to lose.  The world has a surfeit of managers who play it safe already, and they shouldn’t be working in the front offices of NFL teams. 

Mike Maccagnan

Pundits haven’t minced words about what’s at stake with the Jets’ head coaching hire – they can’t screw up…period!  And the best way to not screw it up is to go with a known commodity like former Packer’s coach Mike McCarthy.  But what does mean for Maccagnan, does he really think McCarthy is the best man for the job, or does he think McCarthy is the best man for the job because it will be easier to explain in case he doesn’t work out?  What about Kliff Kingsbury, a McVayesque kind of coach under the age of 40 whom the Jets have just been granted permission to interview?  Would such a consideration be too dangerous for not being aligned with the general consensus?   A critical hiring decision shouldn’t be based on appeasement.  It should be based on instinct.   

Take another few minutes to look in the mirror Mike Maccagnan.  But hurry…

Cody Parkey is No Uwe von Schamann

You’ll have to ask my kids to verify this if you don’t believe me, but it’s true.  I said it just before Chicago attempted the game winning field goal last night against Philadelphia that they were going to miss because, “you just can’t put the game in the hands of a guy named Cody Parkey.”  I know that sounds ridiculous, but I can’t help it.  I just think that some things are simply predestined by one’s name. Cody Parkey, as decent as a guy as I’m sure he is, just doesn’t have a name that gets you over the finish line.  He doesn’t.  I wasn’t just mildly puffing in my prognostication that he’d miss.  I knew he would.

One is the Loneliest Number, Especially if You're Cody Parkey

In fact, the NFL place kicker is quite interesting in that it was probably one of the first positions where the player’s name did as much to suggest their success as did their ability.  It was branding by happenstance; a fortuitous circumstance during a specific time in the NFL where kickers who sounded like they were from Dusseldorf fared better than ones who sounded home grown in terms of making the team.  This trend seemed to reach its zenith in the early 1980’s, when just about anything foreign sounding was believed to be better than something produced domestically.  It didn’t even have to be foreign per se, it just had to seem that way. Like Haagen-Dazs ice cream, a brand produced in New Jersey but packaged as if it came Denmark; even having the audacity to print a map of lower Scandinavia on the lid of its containers to further suggest that point.  You’d see the little arrow pointing to a star marking is alleged origin somewhere near the Baltic Sea and think: Damn, this must good!  “Korean” grocery markets were also all the rage at the time, as were female Asian news anchors, and egregiously “European” sounding beers: Hey Barkeep, a round of Lowenbrau’s for me and my friends when you have a second old chum…  And yet, inexplicably, it seemed that NFL general managers had now bought into this branding phenomenon as well.  By 1983 any kicker who sounded like he grew up next door was out, as if he were Breyers Ice Cream.  It’s doubtful that many NFL GM’s at the time would admit to such a practice.  That cunning geo-marketing would somehow influence how they assembled their rosters.  Nevertheless, there was this continuously growing crop of kickers sprouting up with names such as Donald Igwebuike, Rolf Benirschke, Raphael Septien, Jan Stenerud and Raul Allegre to name a few.  Stenarud, the elder statesmen of the bunch and de facto godfather of import-kickers, first entered the league in 1967 and deserves much of the credit with regard to “removing the borders” for NFL place kicking.    But if this was indeed a fad, good luck getting it on record.  Imagine calling out the perennially prickly George Young, the New York Giants’ General Manager from 1979-1997, on this; “Hey George did you sign Ali Haji-Sheikh because everyone is eating Haagen-Dazs and watching Kaity Tong on the Eleven O’clock News?”

“Shut up…”

“You weren’t just covering your crinkled backside on this?”

“I said shut up…”

“Well, at least you still have a quarterback named Phil Simms in case he doesn’t work out.”

Donald Igwebuike

Ali Haji-Sheikh

Uwe von Schamann

Trend or no trend, it still remains uncannily coincidental that internationally sounding kickers were getting snapped up at the same time Benetton sweatshirts and Bonjour jeans were flying off the shelves.  As if a paranoid general manager fearing the wrath of his owner had a better chance of keeping his job if, say, Uwe von Schamann missed a game winning field goal instead the other kicker he’d have signed from Springfield named Joe Woods.  In certain professions there’s just something about a particular guy’s name that evokes confidence more than another particular guy’s name.  Whether it’s fair or not is certainly subject to further debate, but who do you think sounds better for getting your team to the Super Bowl: John Elway or Bubby Brister? 

And that brings us back to Cody Parkey, that vowelly sounding rhyme scheme of a kicker where both his first and last names have that perfect two-syllable pentameter.  He unfortunately sounds much more like a comic strip – or main character of a companion piece to Highlights Magazine’s “Goofus and Gallant” – than a guy who’s going to get you to the next round of the NFL playoffs with his leg.  Should he have been named Cody Parker or Connor Parkey, well, maybe…just maybe…he’d have fared off better.   There’s no logical or statistical explanation for this. There’s just something in a name…

"Danish" Ice Cream Made In Teaneck, New Jersey