Friday, December 31, 2004

YEAR IN REVIEW

The end of the year is a time for lists. You name it, there’s a list. Best songs of the year, best movies of the year, best Olympic moments (that’s that thing where they run, jump and swim a lot every four years), best late night monologue gaffes, biggest political faux pas…sheesh it’s infinite.

So without further ado, let’s move forward with my take on the 2004 NFL season (and the league in general) and pull some stones that have yet to be unturned. Enough with the opening pleasantries, let’s dive right in.

Worst Stadium Name: Monster Park, San Francisco 49ers

As if we didn’t already have enough reasons to cite the ignominious demise of what was once one of pro football’s most storied franchises, we’ve overlooked perhaps the most flagrant whoring of all stadium naming rights. In case you’re wondering, it’s not Monster.com that purchased the arena’s title, but Monster Cable (damn fine speaker wire). Frankly, the former would be more appropriate, as the miserly practices of the York family would prompt many front office hacks to forward their resumes elsewhere, not to mention those on the field. But if there was one thing that might help to bandage the lost pride of this fiscally bleeding franchise, it’s clinging to the venue’s original name of Candlestick Park. With the aftershocks of previous spendthrift management still being felt, the only Monsters playing in this stadium are the visiting team; making Frisco home of the league’s biggest David and Goliath match-up on any given Sunday. Where’s the slingshot you ask? It went with the equipment manager who took a job with the Redskins. Now there’s a team that likes to spend money.

Worst Rule Enforcement: The “Chuck” Rule.

In what was the NFL’s answer to Baseball’s adjusting the strike zone to generate more scoring, flag-happy zebras have artificially stimulated more offensive drives than the Fed. With the reticence of defensive backs to make any contact in fear of handing over a fresh set of downs, it’s no surprise Deion Sanders came out of retirement. While it’s only a five-yard penalty if the defender interferes with a receiver, the obvious killer is the automatic first down. Just the way the “pitcher’s duel” has died a slow death in baseball, the “defensive game” is similarly on the way to extinction. But hey, it’s great for fantasy football. True, Peyton Manning just broke Dan Marino’s single season record for touchdown passes, however in 1984 Marino’s receivers were getting banged around like a pinball. Don’t expect an asterisk by Manning’s name that mentions his breaking the record in this new era of cloned offensive production. No wonder Marvin Harrison just signed a $66 million contract extension; he comes out of each game looking like he just left a spa in Palm Springs.


Most Stupid Controversy: The Pat Tillman Commemorative Sticker


OK, it’s fine to ostensibly place the Nike “Swoosh” on the sleeves of the jersey to get picked up by the television cameras. It’s OK to mandate that the American flag be placed on the back of the helmet despite the number of foreign born players. But it’s not OK for Jake Plummer to continue wearing the number “40” on his helmet for a guy making seven figures to quit football and die for his country. Granted, I understand the NFL’s stance on discouraging use of the uniform for symbolic speech, however in this case, it seems awfully hypocritical considering how overtly the league trumpets patriotism. Would it be OK if, say, a Pat Tillman Foundation paid to keep those stickers on? Just food for thought. Hey Mr. Tagliabue, lighten up will you? And you wonder why the NFL more and more stands for No Fun League. What’s next, are all those “92’s” scribbled to honor the late Reggie White going to draw fines in violation of the uniform code? Come on...


Most Annoying Trend: “Alternate” Jerseys

I’ve talked about this before, but it’s fascinating how teams break out their “alternate” jerseys (i.e. their non-traditional home colors) right around Thanksgiving when the holiday shopping season kicks into full swing. Clearly this is a merchandising ploy for teams to splinter yet another ancillary revenue stream. And now, thanks to the Miami Dolphins upsetting New England in those horrible crossing guard orange jerseys, we’re going to have a new wave of uniform superstitions come in vogue. I can see it now; Carolina will wear black against New Orleans, but pastel blue when playing Atlanta. It’s sort of a throwback to when teams made Dallas wear blue when they were on the road. Excuse me while I relish in my own precocity here…please read on.


Worst Referee: Tom White

I have no statistics to back up my case, but from what I’ve seen White’s crew throws flags like a popcorn machine. Not only that, but he’s made some downright awful calls that have woefully impacted the outcome of games. I breathed a sigh of relief when Dick Hantack finally retired. But compared to Tom White, I’m feeling sentimental for old “Ticky-(Han)Tack”. Talk about officiating gone frighteningly awry. If Dick Hantack was the Tiberius of NFL officialdom, then Tom White is surely Caligula.


Should Enroll in Media Relations 101: Chad Pennington, New York Jets

For a Jet quarterback to be embraced with the same verve by the New York media as Joe Namath, Chad’s done a lot to shoot himself in the foot. You don’t hear any guarantees coming from this boyish Tennessean. Snubbing the New York scribes who’ve treated him kindly is a public relations Pandora’s box. He’s in the crosshairs now. I’m sure Richard Todd, Matt Robinson, Pat Ryan, Ken O’Brien, Glenn Foley, Browning Nagle, Boomer Esiason, Neil O’Donnell and Vinny Testeverde would agree. And, yes, it is a legitimate question as to why he cowers when the Jets play the NFL elite. I think I’m going to pitch ghost writing a book for Santana Moss called, No, Really, Just Get Me the Damn Ball: The Trials and Tribulations of Being a Deep Threat in a Dink-and-Dunk Offense. Talk about an underutilized weapon. All I hear is “Chad’s not right, Chad’s not right,” but where’s the evidence of this strained shoulder? Arm strength has always been a concern, but I’ve seen heavier firepower watching JV Hotchkiss play Kent. Could this “shoulder injury” be subterfuge for Namath II being a broken toy? A $64 million cover-up? What’s going on behind those closed doors at Weeb Ewbank Hall? Conspiracy theorists beware, Chadgate could be the next apocalypse to pummel Gang Green.


Team That Always Gets Off Easy: Detroit Lions

Are the Detroit Lions the NFL’s Chicago Cubs? Those loveable losers that in some unfathomable way trigger an “aw shucks” reaction as opposed to an expletive filled tirade when they blow it? Do those richly soft blue jerseys have some innate calming effect that other colors don’t? Last year New Orleans blew a PAT after a kick return that would have silenced the Music City Miracle and the press damn near marched the Saints out to Shreveport (or Los Angeles if their stadium negotiations fall flat). I know Saints fans that must sequester their kids at the beginning of the fourth quarter. Fuhgettabout what happens here in New York. Anyway, several weeks ago, Detroit, with Joey Harrington suffering from the flu, had a remarkable (albeit penalty assisted) end of the game drive which would have put the game in OT had they just made the oh-so routine extra point. They didn’t, botching the snap in the final seconds, and thus tipping the scales enough for the undeserving Minnesota Vikings to probably sneak into the playoffs. The reaction was nothing more than ho-hum, though Don Muhlbach, Detroit’s long snapper, did get his fifteen minutes of notoriety. It’s pathetic yet gracious how the Lions year after year get off Scott free despite starting every season with such promise. Perhaps the downtrodden history that Motown has endured makes us take a blind eye to this perennially disappointing franchise. Maybe it’s the felinetine lore of multiple lives that makes Lion fans continual optimists that, indeed, someday their team will reign as the NFL’s king of beasts. Or is it because guys like Steve Mariucchi, Wayne Fontes, Marty Mornhinweg and Monte Clark just can’t do anything to ever piss us off? Whatever it is, Detroit remains strangely immune to the critical bombardment that other teams must ride out.


Team That Should Permanently Revert to Their Old Uniforms: San Diego Chargers

Interesting, I see LaDainian Tomlinson’s jersey worn around New York in San Diego’s old AFL powder blue look. Got to say, I’m on that retro bandwagon. Maybe they’ll dovetail the switch once they finally get the new stadium they’ve been in negotiations for. I hope so. Even the look from the “Air Coryell” days beats what they have now. Actually, those uniforms also looked pretty good. It’s OK to look back in the rearview mirror once in a while…and sell millions of dollars worth of apparel to boot. I’m already sold.


Team That Should NEVER Permanently Revert to Their Old Uniforms: Tampa Bay Buccaneers


OK, this was an easy one. But there’s something about a team that takes Tennessee Volunteer Orange, gives it a dash of red, and emblazons a cartoonish, Village Peoplesque, winking pirate on the helmet that just screams 1976 NFL expansion. ‘Nuff said… How’s the moniker of “Pewter People Eaters” sound? Anyone? Anyone?


Team That’s Supposed to Get to the Super Bowl But Won’t: Philadelphia Eagles


OK, with the mediocrity of the lame NFC it looked like Philadelphia could have booked their hotel rooms in Jacksonville by mid-October. And, yes, I’m in agreement with the sports establishment that Philadelphia lost some of their invincibility and swagger when T.O. went down. But what really bothers me is how they approached the Monday night game in St. Louis, and lost. McNabb played but one quarter, Brian Westbrook didn’t even suit up, and starting tackle, Tra Thomas, was excused from playing for personal reasons. Bullocks I say. For a team that’s lost the NFC Championship game three years in a row, at home no less, the Eagles should send a message that they’re going to obliterate every opponent with no apologies. Instead, they’re being tentative, just hoping, wishing, praying, that they can remain mostly intact for the post season. In essence, they’re succumbing to the weight of expectations and are glad just to survive instead of go for the kill. It’s a blatant advertisement that they’re feeling vulnerable, and if I were an opposing coach, I’d pound the Eagles with blitzkrieg belligerence. Look out for dark horse Green Bay to steal this one away.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

GIANTS STILL HAVE MUCH TO PONDER ABOUT

In between promos for Mike Wallace’s interview with Ricky Williams, a football game was played Saturday at the Meadowlands between the Giants and Pittsburgh. Technically the Giants were the home team, though the legions of Terrible Towel twirlers often confused the game’s locale.

I don’t know how to feel about this game. Sometimes you watch a game and hanging tough against an overmatched opponent is enough to feel good. I got that warm fuzzy in Eli Manning’s debut against Atlanta. But dammit, I really wanted to see the Giants close the deal against Pittsburgh. I believe the Giants can build off this respectable 33-30 loss and wrap up the season on an optimistic note, but alas, an upset would have tasted so much better.

Lets start with Ron Dayne. Ron Dayne???? Yes, Ron Dayne. First of all, on a 2nd and 3 deep in Pittsburgh territory, he got 2 and ¾ yards. Not enough to convert, but heck, I was already screaming into the TV bracing for yet another short-yardage blunder by the Heisman Trophy bust. He didn’t convert, but he at least stemmed the anticipated cascade of boos if he blew it. Next play the Giants converted. Later in the third quarter, Dayne also made an outstanding block in the backfield which enabled Manning to connect with Shockey on a slant pattern. It was a nice play where we caught a glimpse of Shockey’s pent-up primal fury as he scratched, clawed and dug to get to the one-yard line. Man has that been missed. For God’s sake, please let that starving hyena from Oklahoma roam free on the gridiron.

Since we’re still discussing the positive, how about Willie Ponder on those kick returns? Whoa…last week I had just gotten out of the shower to thankfully miss the Giants muff the opening kickoff against Baltimore, glad I got my personal hygiene out of the way in time to see the Giants take a 7-0 lead in the first fifteen seconds of the game. Nice job Willie, particularly with stumbling past Troy Polamalu (and his mane) to get into the end zone. The show was hardly over after that 91-yard return, as Ponder’s quickness (8 for 259, 32.4 avg.) on subsequent returns gave the Giants excellent field position to convincingly launch Eli Manning’s best performance to date.

Manning found some mojo Saturday (16/23, 182 yards, 2 TD, 1 INT), and even more importantly he found his wide receivers, hitting Amani Toomer and Ike Hilliard on some modest, but vital drive sustaining completions. Most impressive was his 49-yard strike to David Tyree to punctuate their best offensive performance since the Halloween drubbing against Minnesota. After all, he could only get better, but beyond the stats Manning seems to have matured by light years since providing his critics with recent truckloads of fodder. It’s the small stuff that doesn’t necessarily fill the sports pages with ink, but speaks volumes in terms of decisiveness and poise; and there was one twelve yard (or so) scamper that Manning quickly made that moved the chains for another first down that said a lot. It was nothing sexy, it’s what quarterbacks are supposed to do when his receivers are covered, but it was one of the most defining moments in terms of Manning letting his instincts dictate his decisions instead of conditioned logic. Until then, most of his play in the past four games has been cramped and unsure; like a tennis player holding out for his opponent to make an unforced error instead of just smashing the ball away. He took some chances, and more often than not, he prevailed. He also played a whole lot smarter; showing some savvy in making good reads against Pittsburgh’s fearsome defense. That will only get better as he continues to play. Of course, some of his circumspect play still reared it’s ugly head; particularly when missing a wide open Jim Finn in the flat that would have easily converted a third down…but lets not harp on that. True it sure helps when the Giants are able to run the ball, which they did Saturday, however as the game progressed, just like the previous losses, Pittsburgh made the proper defensive adjustments to shut that down. Still though, what a difference it makes when Eli can take advantage of the play action; a luxury he’s hardly had to enjoy.

I’ve yet to really see it, but I think the Giants could really broaden their offensive palette if they experimented with Manning’s mobility. I’m guessing that because he’s still adjusting to the NFL, the offensive play selection is conservative and pocket-oriented, but I was begging for the Giants to call a rollout or bootleg. He’s got the arm strength to fire the ball downfield on the run, and with linebackers and defensive backs playing wary of a mobile quarterback, (think McNabb, Vick, Plummer) he’d have a lot more open receivers to connect with. On that note, I’m hardly thrilled with John Hufnagle’s offensive play calling. For weeks now the Giants’ predictability has been criticized and that again rang true. After Shockey’s aforementioned clawing to the one-yard line, the Giants called time out only to hand the ball off to Tiki Barber, which everyone in the stadium knew was coming. As a result, the Giants had to settle for a field goal. I mean, what’s up with calling time out if that’s all you’re going to do? Imagine what they’d do for Manning’s confidence if they called a naked bootleg to the outside? I doubt Pittsburgh prepared for that while watching game film last week. Poor, poor coaching.

Defensively the Giants were in and out. For the most part, the Giants’ decimated defensive line put on a decent rush on passing situations. Stopping the run was an entirely different story and is becoming a tired theme. Secondary play was erratic, with Frank Walker and Brent Alexander snatching two interceptions for the first time since turning the clocks back. Will Allen had a gimme INT deep in Giants territory go right through his hands while coverage was inconsistent at best. My defensive goat is no doubt, the former Steeler, Brent Alexander. Stupid undisciplined play sustained a Pittsburgh drive that would have otherwise resulted in a punt when he didn’t let up on a gang tackle sack of Ben Roethlisberger. Instead, a killer fifteen yard penalty ensued. There’s no excuse for that in any way, shape or form. When you look at the Giants’ downward spiral last season, the play that triggered it was when former Texas pawn broker turned place kicker, Matt Bryant, kicked the ball out of bounds on that Monday night game against Dallas…you know the rest. The play that triggered the Giants downward spiral of this season can be pinned on an Amani Toomer holding penalty that nullified a touchdown run which would have put the Giants up 21-0 against Chicago. Instead they lost that game 28-21 and haven’t won since. Well, if there’s a stupid play that may have changed the landscape of the Pittsburgh game, it was Alexander’s penalty. Even worse, three plays later, Alexander had the chance to redeem himself on a third and long situation where he missed an open field tackle that, again, would have resulted in a punt. Instead Pittsburgh got the first down and then capped the drive with an embarrassing touchdown pass to Antwaan Randle El. So Alexander got a second half interception. Thanks, but too little too late.

So what about next week? With Giants at 5-9, whatever mathematical chances they had to make the playoffs are now snuffed out. I’ve been easy on the Giants this year but hanging tough, even against the now 13-1 Steelers isn’t enough,…finish ‘em off! The difference in momentum going into next season with a victory versus a valiant loss is huge. Nevertheless, this was a benchmark game; the advancement of Eli Manning’s initiation into the NFL, and it’s still good. The Giants go to Cincinnati next week and then close out the season at home against Dallas. Two winnable games, but after losing to teams like Detroit, Chicago, Arizona and Washington, they shouldn’t worry about being embarrassed if they lose. Instead, they should go in with a pre-season mentality and just see what they can do. Let Eli play, let him move out of the pocket, play the deep ball, utilize the underrated Jim Finn, blitz…just figure out what works and refine it in the off-season. Forget the conservative vanilla game plan. If Manning is the future, then try some new looks and see if he can really fly.

The Giants officially started playing for next season a month ago. We got a good look at what’s in store in the years to come. Take it further Big Blue…don’t stop now.










Wednesday, December 08, 2004

THE AXE FALLS...

OK I’ll admit it. One of my favorite aspects to December football is determining which coaches will, might or should get fired. It’s the soap opera of the sport that fans the flames of interest between Sundays. Last year we saw the revolving door spin with six franchises: Oakland, New York Giants, Washington, Chicago, Atlanta and Arizona. Frankly, I could have seen a few more coming. But the talent pool was lean last year, and in some cases, some very sought after coordinators could have been head coaches by now had their teams not gone so far in the playoffs. Two names that will surely be on most short lists again are New England Patriots’ coordinators, Charlie Weis (offense), and Romeo Crennel (defense). Got to say, I thought Marty Schottenheimer was done for sure in San Diego last season, now they’re in pole position to clinch the AFC West. Guess that’s why I’m not a General Manager, though let’s see what happens in the post season. My memory isn’t so short to forget about Marty’s past playoff chokes.

So far we’ve had two mid-season head coaching vacancies show up in Miami and Cleveland. Hardly a surprise, Dave Wannstedt got blindsided with one of the most nightmarish off-seasons in recent memory; not to mention a few hurricanes to ravage south Florida in September. For Butch Davis, the situation wasn’t much better in Cleveland, though his fingerprints were much more visible in regard to that fiasco.

Here are some other coaches worthy of discussion...

Jim Hasslett, New Orleans Saints
This is an easy one, one of the most talented rosters in the league whose late season demise is as predicable as the Wednesday hangover after Mardi Gras. Doesn’t render much explanation. Hasslett will be out of a job on or before January 3, 2005.

Dennis Erickson, San Francisco 49ers
From 1995-1998 Erickson was 31-33 with the Seattle Seahawks. Prior to taking the job in Seattle, he was 63-9 and won a National Championship at the University of Miami. After those four mediocre years with the ‘hawks, Erickson remained in the Northwest to coach Oregon State where he went 31-17. Now he’s back in the NFL, and after nearly two seasons his combined record with the Niners is 8-20, with his current 2004 record at 1-11. You know what…and I know I’m going out on a limb here…but I’m going to say right now that Dennis Erickson is a much better college coach than he is pro. I know, I know, it’s amazing how I come up with these conclusions, but believe it or not there are guys out there getting PAID to divulge the same revelation I’m offering at no cost. To be fair, much of San Francisco’s problems stem from the front office where the abysmal ownership by the York’s makes the Arizona Cardinals look like a stalwart franchise. With the York’s frugality (and I’m using this word with the most liberal interpretation) and salary cap woes to keep the team pinned down for several more seasons, Erickson has nothing but twigs to ignite a flame in Candlestick. Right now San Francisco would be hard pressed to be competitive in the Word League, much less against the soft adversaries of the NFC West. He’s got zilch to work with and knows that won’t change anytime soon. No way are the York’s going to pony the cash necessary to snare a franchise pick with their presumed number one slot; and with the Stanford job open down the road among other choice college gigs, expect Erickson to walk after the season.

Mike Shanahan, Denver Broncos
Mike Shanahan’s ten years in Denver can be marked by two phases. The one when he had John Elway as his quarterback and the one when he didn’t. He’s been without Elway for six seasons now and consequently hasn’t won a playoff game since. In addition, for a man known for his "brilliance" he, not the GM, has been responsible for some dubious personnel decisions. Jake Plummer has been aptly dubbed an "enigma" for his erratic play and Champ Bailey has hardly been the "shutdown" cornerback he was slated to be. You can’t take away what he’s done. After all, he got the most out of Elway’s twilight years, who admittedly did not connect well with Dan Reeves, and has had more struggling running backs find their 15 minutes of fame in Denver than just about anywhere else. Still though, after a decade in the Mile High City, Shanahan’s shelf life has all but expired.

Norv Turner, Oakland Raiders
This was a marriage of convenience. Let’s face it, the only reason Norv Turner is Oakland’s head coach is because Al Davis can’t get anyone else to work for him. I can only speculate the patience the fans in Washington had for Turner’s seven seasons of mediocrity can be attributed to the bureaucratic culture of that city. After all, it’s a government town where you wait, sit in traffic, wait, sit in traffic, and wait some more. Then if nothing happens…well…have a cup of coffee while the new regime takes over and then wait some more. Not so in Oakland, where the "Black Hole" doesn’t have a marching band and the fans don’t sentimentally dress like pigs. I simply can’t see Norv Turner being perceived as anything but "just another head coach." The team is rudderless, and the hiring of Norv Turner reeks of the same apathetic stench Rich Kotite brought to the Jets during that franchise’s nadir of the early ‘90s. If there’s one ray of light, it’s that Turner’s pass-oriented scheme is a good fit for Kerry Collins’ arm. We caught a glimpse of that recently on the road in snowy Denver. Collins is great when things are perfect, but only when things are perfect. The addition of Robert Gallery helps give Collins a pocket, but with losing receiver Jerry Porter to free agency next season coupled with legitimate concerns about Tyrone Wheatley’s durability, things will hardly be perfect. Still though, Turner’s real problems don’t lie in personnel, they lie in the team’s belief in him. Nobody sees him plugging the leak of that sinking ship, and as a result the Silver and Black will remain content just collecting paychecks. Turner’s a great offensive strategist, but he’s not a motivator or a salesman. Turner will never have trouble finding work as an offensive coordinator, however the seven generous years he had in Washington already proves plenty about his lack of leadership. The problem for Oakland is…who’s going to want that job?

Mike Tice, Minnesota Vikings
Mike Tice has gone on the record numerous times to vent his frustration with being the NFL’s lowest paid coach. Even as cheap coaching labor, I doubt he’s in the poorhouse and last season’s implosion hardly merits a raise into the seven-figure range. It’s also known that his relationship with owner Red McCombs is tenuous at best. Though McCombs has said that Tice is his guy, the buzz around the league suggests it’s as heartfelt as a General Patton apology. There’s a lot going on with the Vikings right now. Talk of getting a new stadium, possible sale of the team, and perhaps even an exodus from the Twin Cities has circulated around the camp. Frankly, if there were ever a team that should get a new stadium, it’s the Vikings. Despite being perennial playoff contenders for much of the two decades they’ve played indoors, this team has never regained its aura from the Bud Grant era when they played at Metropolitan Stadium. Teams like Tampa Bay or then, dome-team Detroit never had a prayer in those days. Minnesota, in case you didn’t know, gets COLD by mid-October; and while the noise factor can be menacing for opponents playing indoors, it hardly mitigates for the lost elements of an open-air arena. Even if it means naming the place after another liberal politician like Walter Mondale, the Vikes should play outdoors. Right now Minnesota is 7-5, and after loosing to the resurgent Chicago Bears their playoff hopes are dwindling in the lame NFC. I don’t buy the hamstring injury to Randy Moss as being a major reason for the swoons in their play; not with Daunte Culpepper and the other offensive weapons in their arsenal. It stems from an average coach with a sense of entitlement he’s yet to earn. With the winds of change blowing through the Metrodome’s ventilation system, the Vikings are playing in a holding pattern to see what shakes out. Make the call Mr. McCombs, shell some dough for a coach that knows how to make this talented team a powerhouse. Either that, or sell the team and go back to Texas…it’s a lot warmer there.

Mike Holmgren, Seattle Seahawks
For some reason, of all possible coaches that could or should get canned, it still seems sacrilegious to mention Mike Holmgren as a potential pink slip recipient. Seattle was the chic pick this summer to be the NFC’s Super Bowl representative. Now at 6-6, Seattle has deservedly earned the 2004 contender-to-pretender award. Monday night’s home loss to Dallas clearly summed that up on the national stage. This was the NOW year for Seattle. It was understood that Holmgren wouldn’t be a magic bullet solution for a team that’s been consistent also-rans since coming into the league in 1976. It would take time to implement his sophisticated offense; perhaps even three or four seasons where guys who knew his system would ultimately prove more valuable than raw talent. Enter Matt Hasselbeck, Mike Holmgren’s back-up quarterback from when he coached in Green Bay. After all, a well-coached quarterback like Bart Starr, Phil Simms or Tom Brady would clearly compensate for not being Joe Montana…right? Well it hasn’t happened, and with Hasselbeck AND (gulp) Shaun Alexander becoming free agents next year, the magic lamp that Holmgren’s been rubbing for six seasons could soon be locked back in the chest. The main reason why I don’t think Holmgren is a shoo-in to get axed is because he’s so entrenched in the operation that whoever took over would have a daunting task rewiring the team. He’s in deep; meaning his successor would need at least another three years to move the Seahawks beyond wild card contention. With Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen as its owner, money isn’t a problem for Seattle as it is elsewhere. The question is, does he have the patience to wait yet another year to see some return on his investment? Probably so, fans of a team that have never won a championship tend to be on board longer than ones already accustomed to success. However, with imminent changes next season at QB and running back, the issue of learning the system again will likely be rehashed.

Dick Vermeil, Kansas City Chiefs
OK, perhaps an even more sacrilegious coach than Mike Holmgren to talk about firing is Dick Vermeil. Oh yes…we all love Dick Vermeil…truly one of the NFL’s good guys who was precociously in touch with his feelings at a time when real men didn’t eat quiche. We loved the schmaltzy Hollywood story of his St. Louis Rams in 1999, after his 14 year coaching hiatus, when he wept with the Lombardi Trophy in one hand while the other embraced Kurt Warner; the former Iowa grocery clerk turned uber-quarterback. It was a nice way to forget about our vested stock options at the close of the dot.com decade. Obviously one didn’t have to replicate the modus operandi of a Mike Ditka or Bill Parcells to win a Super Bowl…excuse me while I get a Kleenex. Now in his fourth season in Kansas City, he’s losing at Arrowhead Stadium, which until recently was one of the most formidable places for visiting teams to play. What’s the difference between the Chief’s offense of this year in comparison to last? Nothing, they’re still a scoring machine. What’s the difference between the Chief’s defense of this year to last? Nothing, they’re still awful, giving up ridiculous amounts of yards and points. OK, Vermeil did one thing. He sacked last year’s defensive coordinator Greg Robinson and replaced him with former Chief’s defensive coordinator and head coach, Gunther Cunningham. That’s it. The defensive roster is nearly identical as is their horrendous performance; hardly a sufficient shake-up…not by a long shot. Why did the Chiefs win last year and not this year? They had this guy named Dante Hall light up the scoreboard on kick returns. THAT’s what tipped the scales; and you can’t expect ANY opposing special teams coach to let that happen again (psst…don’t kick the ball to Dante Hall…OK?). And now that Dante Hall has been reduced to last year’s special teams anomaly, KC is struggling big time. So what real coaching adjustments has Dick Vermeil made between the 2003 and 2004 seasons? None that I can see, and at 4-8, in this what-have-you-done-in-the-last-five-minutes NFL, what worked last season is a galaxy away from what works now. Dick, you’re great, we love you, but the game is moving faster than you are. Time to really think about retirement.

Potential Others:
Mike Martz, St. Louis Rams
Tom Coughlin, New York Giants
Dennis Green, Arizona Cardinals
Dom Capers, Houston Texans








Sunday, December 05, 2004

YANKEE GO HOME

I can’t say this for certain. But I’m willing to bet that somewhere, in one of those “New York” themed places around the country, a sandwich last week known as “The Giambi” has, at least temporarily, been renamed “The Olerud.” Last I checked, John Olerud wasn’t on the Yankees' active roster; though somehow I’m guessing that Brian Cashman’s mobile number has been in the top speed dial slot of Olerud’s agent. As for the Jason Giambi cottage industry; it’s hard to determine if the heat raging from the media inferno in New York is worse than the one smoldering down in Tampa.

I make less money than Jason Giambi…OK, a lot less…but you couldn’t pay me all the money in the world to trade places with him. Even if the Yankees are stuck holding the $82 million bag that remains in Giambi’s contract, I still would rather be just about anyone than him. We all know how sharp the fangs of the New York media can get, but it’s one thing for the press to drive a bum like Roger Cedeno out of town because he sucks, and it’s another to be Dead Man Walking because of betrayal. I didn’t get a sense from the local scribes that this was just a juicy story in the way a politician gets caught with his pants down, but rather they were genuinely disgusted about Giambi’s use of steroids. I particularly liked the Scarlet Letter reference that Giambi should have an “S” stitched on his pinstripes instead of the interlocking NY.

One point that’s been mentioned, though not necessarily brought to the forefront, is what if Jason Giambi was a homegrown Yankee instead of a blockbuster free agent gone bust? What if Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams or Jorge Posada got caught shooting synthetic strength into their rear ends? Would they receive the same recoil as Giambi? How about Gary Sheffield? His name was mentioned in the same sentence as “The Cream” last week; but what a difference it is for a mercenary to bat .290 in the Bronx than .208. Maybe it has to do with Giambi’s persona. I mean, dang nabbit, don’t we want to like this guy? Aren’t we tired of just not hating our athletes? I’d buy Cub Scout candy from Jason Giambi if he came to my door. It’s like Marie Osmond becoming a heroine addict. Gary Sheffield is an outstanding hitter, but he’s also a perennial malcontent known just as much for his petulance as for his clutch home runs. Should he fall, we’ll hardly feel as stung. Then there’s Barry Bonds. Admit it, we’re ready for Barry Bonds to crash and burn, aren’t we? But Jason Giambi….hmmmm….maybe not.

I think an immediate divorce between the Yankees and Giambi is the quickest way to stem the pain. After all, Giambi’s arrival in New York danced to a much different tune than Sheffield’s. Giambi, though a free agent, was immediately trumpeted as a Yankee; a red carpet welcome to the likes of Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio and Munson. A player destined to wear pinstripes despite his early career detour through Oakland. Sheffield, on the other hand, hardly received the same billing. Instead of being a Yankee, Sheffield was simply seen as an expensive solution to filling that pesky hole in right field. And at age 36, what better place to finish your career than in the Bronx?

Giambi’s steroid use cuts deep because we were supposed to form an attachment to him. Bobblehead dolls baring his Yankee likeness were coming off some Chinese assembly line within hours of his signing. He was home…finally…a player whose charisma appealed to multiple generations of fans; perhaps the last Yankee ever worthy to wear number 25. The pragmatic acceptance to see if a player could hack it in New York took an uncharacteristic bypass when the Californian arrived here. This was a no-brainer. Giambi’s positive impact was as certain as death and taxes; it’s more than just a disappointment. This time we New Yorkers, hailing from the land of the hustle, were conned! Swindled! Hoodwinked! Dammit, we should know better!

New York’s a place where a fan’s passion is balanced by his cynicism. But in Giambi’s case we dropped the latter. After all, this was no Jose Contreras experiment. This for sure was a safe bet…even at $120 million.

Oh well…you live and you learn.

Say it ain’t so Jason…now kindly get the hell out of town.