CROWN OF ZORNS

With all that’s going on in Washington this week with the steroids hearings, it’s no wonder the Redskins got second billing when they announced Jim Zorn as their new head coach. This isn’t really what the Redskins are about of course, and if Daniel Snyder had his way, even a presidential assassination would take to the back pages behind what’s going on at Redskin Park. But Zorn’s quiet press conference, which already is best remembered for his flubbing the team’s colors, is proving more and more that Dan Snyder has become the incarnate of Al Davis with a larger bank account. It’s also an indication of how much owners are willing to gamble…or settle…on coaches with marginal experience at best.

Personally, I like Jim Zorn. He represents a sentimental time when I was first starting to follow football. Zorn, of course, was the starting quarterback for the expansion Seattle Seahawks in 1976. For me there was always a fascination about this team, being that they were tucked up on nation’s northwest corner…in a galaxy far, far, away. Considering that I was living outside of Rochester NY at that time, I assumed that I’d just as likely step foot in Damascus before ever doing so in Seattle. The Seahawks were also the lower key of the two expansion teams that came into the NFL that year. The other team, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, grabbed much of the attention with their Creamsicle jerseys and winking pirate for an insignia. Add in the self-deprecating wit of Bucs’ coach John McKay and their historic futility, the Seahawks remained the mysterious new team from a provincial land known for its overcast skies and serial killers.

As a quarterback, Zorn was fun to watch. An improvising scrambler who by also wearing the number 10 on his jersey, often had himself described as a left-handed Fran Tarkenton. Zorn didn’t really have much choice in his style of play, as much of what he had to work with were jettisoned scraps cast off by other teams in order to create the expansion draft. The lone exception, of course, was Zorn’s go-to guy, the future Hall of Famer and U.S. Congressman, Steve Largent. Though despite Zorn’s popularity and support from the Seattle fan base, the Seahawks remained perennial also-rans while their laughable expansion counterparts became playoff contenders. Changes were looming, where in 1983 the Seahawks brought in the NFL’s top “fix up” coach at the time, Chuck Knox, after sacking Jack Patera the year before. Zorn remained the team’s starting quarterback when Knox first came on board, but change in that position was looming as well, where later that season back-up QB Dave Krieg would replace Zorn and remain as Seattle’s starter for years to come. In a period of NFL history that was rife with quarterback controversies, questions of whether Jim Zorn should have been replaced by Dave Krieg provided lots of fodder for sports pundits to discuss. However, compared to other notable quarterback controversies at the same time, the attention on Zorn and Krieg took somewhat of a back seat to the likes of Danny White and Gary Hogeboom in Dallas, Lynn Dickey and David Whitehurst in Green Bay, or perhaps the bloodiest of all quarterback controversies, Gary Danielson and Eric Hipple in Detroit.

As for the present, Zorn hasn’t inherited any quarterback controversies with the Redskins. Jason Campbell is his man despite the impressive resurrection of Todd Collins’ career to finish the season. And with the buzz surrounding the Skins’ interest in Chad Johnson, Zorn could have some new toys for his kindred quarterback to play with. If there’s any cloud surrounding Zorn’s hiring, it’s the perception that he’s probably Dan Snyder’s seventh choice as head coach. But how much is that really a blemish on Zorn as it is on Snyder? After all, Snyder has pulled every gimmick and coup his billionaire empire can buy; only to receive lackluster results before getting jilted by his latest coaching panacea. He tried to do the same thing again, only that those who were available this time, such as Jim Fassel and Steve Mariucci, didn’t have the same cache as Steve Spurrier and Joe Gibbs. Even so, would they want the job anyway? Mariucci’s last NFL employer was the Ford family, for Fassel it was the Mara’s and Tisch’s. Why would they now want to work for meddling punk with a Napoleon complex? As for the Zorn Era in Washington, it’s hard to believe that he’s nothing more than a stand-in collecting a seven figure salary while Snyder tries to woo Mike Ditka, Dick Vermeil or unleash the cloned DNA of George Allen behind closed doors. Should Zorn’s presumably short leash get cut, he’ll simply be an even wealthier, more experienced quarterback coach than he was before. For Snyder, he’ll yet again have to confront his latest coaching bust. I can see the headlines already: Snyder Explains the Zorn in His Side.