LITIGATING LOSERS

You don’t have to go too far back to recall games where one team was somehow “robbed” of a championship while the other basked in glory. To this day, I’m sure guys like Bill Buckner and Scott Norwood still deal with the inner turmoil that made them household names. Thankfully, what’s still nice about the increasingly tarnished image of professional sports is that no matter what the outcome is, the books are shut -- end of story. That is until now, where former St. Louis Rams’ player Willie Gary, along with two Super Bowl XXXVI ticket holders and a Rams seat license holder, have filed a $100M law suit against the New England Patriots. Gary, who for the past six years has earned a living playing for the Arena Football League’s Georgia Force, alleges that the outcome of Super Bowl XXXVI, where the heavily favored Rams were beaten 20-17 by New England, would have been different had the Patriots not illegally videotaped a Rams practice earlier that week in February 2002.

In a country that never fails to outdo itself when it comes to litigious absurdity, this suit could be the sports equivalent to Liebeck v. McDonald’s; which was that infamous case involving the criminal negligence of selling hot coffee to those who spill it in their laps. The lawsuit seeks $35 million in damages covering, among other things, the loss of Super Bowl rings, bonuses and endorsements for the 45 Rams players and cost of $400 tickets for 72,922 fans.*

I’m not a lawyer, but if Bob Kraft called me to represent his defense, I’d raise these key points after we agreed on my fee of $850 an hour.

• The Rams only led 3-0 early in the second quarter. On the Rams’ first offensive drive of the second quarter, they got the ball down to the Patriots 34 yard line. The Rams failed to convert on third down due to an incompletion and had to settle for a field goal. They missed. Show the jury how an alleged videotaping of the Rams’ practice impacts the kicker missing a field goal.

• Again, in the second quarter with 8:49 remaining in the half, New England defensive back, Ty Law, intercepts a pass intended for Isaac Bruce and runs the ball back 47 yards for a touchdown. Show the jury how an alleged videotaping of the Rams practice impacts the poor judgment by Kurt Warner on this play. At this point New England led 7-3.

• With less than two minutes in the first half, Rams receiver, Ricky Proehl, has the ball stripped at the Patriots 40 yard line. New England recovers, of which they subsequently score another touchdown with 31 seconds remaining in the half. Show the jury how an alleged videotaping of the Rams practice impacts the fumbling by Ricky Proehl. At this point New England led 14-3.

• In the third quarter, New England defensive back, Otis Smith, intercepted a pass after its intended receiver, Tory Holt, slips and falls. New England again capitalizes from this turnover with a field goal. Show the jury how an alleged videotaping of the Rams practice impacts the stumbling by Tory Holt. At this point New England led 17-3.

• Later in the third quarter, Kurt Warner fumbled on a fourth- and- goal quarterback sneak. The ball was recovered by Patriots defensive back, Tebucky Jones, and returned for 97 yards. New England would have had a commanding lead of 24-3 had the play not been nullified by a defensive hold by Willie McGinest. Even if that play counted, show the jury how an alleged videotaping of the Rams practice impacts Kurt Warner fumbling the ball. As a result of the penalty, the Rams got a first down and scored two plays later. New England led 17-10.

The Rams scored once more tying the game at 17 apiece. With a minute and a half remaining in the game, the Patriots marched the ball to the Rams 30 yard line of which Adam Vinatieri made a 48 yard field goal to win in the game’s final second of play.

Regardless of whether New England videotaped the Rams’ practice or not, the total points forfeited or not accumulated due to Rams’ miscues is 20: Three for a missed field goal in the second quarter, and 17 scored by New England off turnovers. Even if New England had acquired the Rams’ entire playbook, how does such a purported advantage translate to spontaneous game time mistakes made by St. Louis? The answer is it doesn’t.

As for a possible motivating factor for Willie Gary, the suit’s primary plaintiff…

• The average salary for an NFL player is $1.1 million per year. The average salary for an Arena Football League (AFL) player is $40,000 per year. Based on these averages, Gary, in six years in the AFL, would have made only 21.8 percent of what an NFL player makes in one year. While this is only speculation, perhaps Willie Gary is living beyond his means after having a taste of the high life in the NFL. For $850 an hour, I would surely dig a little deeper into Gary’s financial history.

While this suit gets underway, perhaps the Oakland Raiders should team up with the Rams to file another law suit just in case this one doesn’t work out. After all, the Patriots would have never reached the Super Bowl that year had it not been for the extremely controversial game involving the “tuck rule” on January 19, 2002. In the six-plus years since that game was played, the arcane interpretation of that ruling is still being debated. So why not sue? Assuming that Walt Coleman, the referee who called that game, isn’t quite as well-heeled as Mr. Kraft, I’d solicit my legal expertise for a mere $625 an hour.

And since piling on the New England Patriots is as in vogue as watching Britney Spears’ life implode in real time, why don’t the Miami Dolphins sue the Pats for losses tied to the infamous “Snowplow Game” as well? Granted that game was more than 25 years ago – December 12, 1982 to be exact – so there may be a statute of limitations here. But since such a suit is unprecedented, maybe it’s worth it to see if the Fish can extort a million or two from their hated rival. With the likelihood of New England’s legal team being busy for a while, perhaps Miami should also sue John Deere in the meantime. After all, they’re an accomplice for manufacturing the tractor that removed the snow before New England kicked the game winning field goal. You’d figure a company with an apple pie image like John Deere would want to avoid any negative publicity. Surely they’d settle with the Dolphins to make this matter quietly go away.

As for this law suit regarding Super Bowl XXXVI, hopefully the courts in New Orleans, which is where this suit is filed, will see the same ridiculousness as the rest of us. The last thing our society needs is yet another frivolous lawsuit. The last thing New Orleans needs is more high profile nonsense to distract from their rebuilding efforts. And the last thing the average fan needs is more legal rigmarole to dilute whatever purity still remains in the world of sports. For God’s sake, just lick your wounds and move on. This is football…isn’t it?



*Specific information about the suit taken from the Boston Herald.