Thanksgiving is coming up. Time for families to get together and enjoy the purest of holidays sans the wanton commercialism of Christmas; and in recent years, Halloween as well. With divorce rampant in the United States, and families dispersed for the sake of survival, the importance of relatives getting together in these frenetic times has been dutifully noted. But what about the food? No one talks about the food anymore. We're the fattest nation on the planet. Obesity costs our society X-billions of dollars in health related issues each year. So why don't we talk more about the meal? What a treasure it is to have a sit-down meal that didn't pass through a drive-through window or come out of a microwave. Turkey, stuffing (I'm a Yankee, dressing is stuff you put on a salad), biscuits, mashed potatoes. Like when was the last time we ate this way at home? I'm not a fan of cranberry sauce or yams. In fact I think they're heinous, but they add nice color to the otherwise bland appearances of the aforementioned items. But cornbread...what the hell is so special about cornbread? I know people who react to cornbread like that dog in the TV commercial that goes apeshit over bacon (it's really not bacon...ha, ha, ha...). First of all, cornbread is a pain in the ass to eat. It collapses when you bite it. It collapses when you break it apart with your fingers. The top is too hard to absorb butter. The interior is too course to spread butter; and if you apply pressure with a knife, it crumbles. What's the big deal? The texture is sandy, even somewhat abrasive on the tongue. It scratches your throat when you swallow. It leaves a silty residue along your esophagus. It gets caked in your molars. What is so great about cornbread? And the taste? What taste...there's nothing to it. It sucks...just turns your mouth into a cement mixer, and then spreads unwanted crumbs to corrupt the texture of other foods on your plate. And yet its regarded as special treat. "Cornbread's on," you hear, "come and get it"; and it gets devoured like fuckin' guppies in a piranha tank. I don't know, I really don't get it. I think cornbread is a farce. Yet I eat it anyway...every Thanksgiving.
1 comment:
I think the "cornbread" thing is a call back to the days when the ol' Native Americans lent us a helping hand after we stole their land and turned our noses up on their suggestions that we might want to try to eat something other than -- fish? porridge? who knows what the settlers were eating back then.
The story (that's been told to me in many elementary school thanksgiving pagents) is that the Native Americans saved our hides (not mine -- my people were indentured servants from Ireland) -- with an offering of maize.
Personally -- I agree -- cornbread sucks. It's not even that tasty with lots of butter on it -- makes you wonder how hungry those pilgrims must have been to consider groundup maize a treat.
Even sadder to think cornbread was what we got -- and the native americans got....gone.
Post a Comment